Saturday, December 27, 2008
I recently was reading a blog which I have added to my "must read" list. :) The woman was mentioning breastfeeding and challenges and feeling guilty, but just doing the best she could. Now. I am friends with her husband from college, but I didn't know his wife. However, I so wanted to encourage her that she needs to just do what is right for their family, pray, and that the Lord will take care of the rest (HA, obviously from my previous post I need to take my own advice! :) ). Anyway, I didn't write because we had never met, I felt awkward about it, worried if she would think me crazy, etc. So I went to bed that night and just mentioned it to the Lord as I prayed for them, that I wanted to encourage her, but wasn't quite sure what to do.
Then what do you know, but the next morning when I checked my FB account there was a note from the husband stating that they had been reading my blog and felt encourage. Well that right there was the Lord, because I had not a clue that they were reading and more importantly I rarely would describe my blog as encouraging. I owe all that to the Lord.
So. . . the Lord whispered to me and reminded me that morning that He cares about the small stuff. I must say that is probably why He says cast all your cares upon Him. He doesn't say "stuff you think is big" or "I will only listen to things having to do with A, B, or C", He says all of it.
To part on an encouraging note: He cares about the small stuff, we just have to give it to Him.
We are now home and Jeff is busily putting together the new doll house, Sean is napping, and Lauren is anxiously awaiting the construction of her new house that will only be touched by her. :)
Ooops. . have to run. .Lauren is asking to snuggle. :) My favorite!!!!!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I am currently praying for peace.
I have this problem, I constantly over assess and analyze every look, comment, etc. made to me by family and others this season. I have found as I sit here with tears that I particularly sensitive about one little thing. . well a big thing to me. My little boy.
He is . . how shall we say. . all boy, he likes any button, gets into everything, never stops moving, can throw a tantrum like you wouldn't believe, can hit, sometimes throws things in immediate grasp when he is angry, and can turn around and tell you "NO!!" when he doesn't like the answer. But this little boy who does all these things is also a lover, a snuggler, hilarious and so inquisitive. He has brought amazing amount of joy and opened our eyes to what it is to have a boy after having the girl first.
It has come to my attention the past few days or should I say I have analyzed other statements, behaviors, reactions, etc. that others are less than fond of his challenging behaviors. Now my friends with boys some of them with more than one boy finds all these things "typical". I feel that others are frustrated with him, judge our parenting skills and others still thanking the Lord that at least "their kids doesn't do that"!!
I have learned it is so easy to judge parenting. We do not discipline our children differently we have done it the same. They are different personalities. And now I realize when we look at parents, even without saying a word, judging them for their children's bad behavior it hurts. It makes parents cry, it bring heartache and sadness, and a feeling of failure.
I wonder if Mary, the mother of Jesus ever felt this way. For some reason I think maybe she did, I mean, they crucified him. She loved him. . she birthed him, she raised him. Although he was the son of God and perfect she must of felt some of these same things, even if he didn't throw a 2 year old tantrum .
I know,such a depressing post on Christmas Eve. I am just praying for some Christmas peace. And a feeling from the Lord that I am doing the best I can with this precious little one.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
ENJOY! :) Oh, and only a mom would say "we don't do that", then turn around and tell her to wait before cleaning up so she can grab the camera to take a pic! :)
Last Thursday was our sweet little girl's first ever preschool program. I must say she was the cutest one there, but of course I am biased. She is carrying hay and as they came in each child put hay in the manger up front. She looked great, but didn't sing a word. We knew this might happen as she hates standing up in front of people, but that is okay, at least she got on stage!! :)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
So I am officially calling "D" for done with nap time at our house for Lauren. She won't take them, no way, no how. No amount of bribing, laying down with, yelling, or other coercing will do the trick.
I am sad and tired. :) I think sadness doesn't even describe the feeling. More like terror at times. It was so nice to know that I could count on at least 1.5 hours to get certain things done or watch some ridiculous reality show on the DVR from previous nights. Or even nap myself. But those days are gone. Maybe this is how kids feel when you take away their blankets or pacifiers? It is definitely a sense of loss.
I now know what my mom was talking about all those years when she said you'd be tired for the first 10 years of each child's life. . .whew. .I have many more years of tired.
The rules for the Encouraged Blogger Award are:1. The winner may put the logo on their blog.2. Put a link to the person who sent you the award.3. Nominate 5 blogs.4. Put links to their blogs.5. Leave a message for your nominees.
1. My sister Katy at The Outlet an another site that you can link to through the Outlet. Amazing writer, even better sister.
2. Dana -A wonderful woman from Michigan. Who has a heart of gold and a creative ability I could only covet.
3. Jobey - A amazing woman I know from HS who has a heart for the Lord.
4. Kim- A strong, courageous woman of whom I have known for years and recently reconnected with.
5. T.J.- A man with a wicked sense of humor who married by wonderful best friend from HS.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Let me tell you about my night. I went to bed not feeling well, and awoke to a crying, vomiting 3 year old at 2 in the morning. Poor thing, as we all hate throwing up, she does too and cried her way through it with me holding her and rubbing her back. Let me tell you, with a nauseated stomach of my own it was all I could do to not toss my own cookies. But we made it through the night with a few more visits from her insides and then she & I slept in her bed for the rest of the morning.
I did cry this morning, wondering how I was going to take care of my wonderful girl with the stomach flu, upon getting sick myself and entertain my 2 year old boy. I cried to God to help, help me somehow because I know that today would not fall upon my own strength.
Then, I opened up my email box and read my verse of the day. . .It was
"I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to Him, and He answered my prayer."
~ Psalm 120:1, NLT
I know the Lord hears me and I have already begun to feel less tired and a bit more myself. And as you can see I have had some free moments to write this blog while the kids watch Super Why on PBS.
I know we will make it through the day, but I definitely know it is not on my own strength alone.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
For his birthday party we decided to take the trip to Phoenix and celebrate at a park next to his grandma and grandpa's house in Fountain Hills. It was a nice day and the kids had fun. For this birthday I promised myself I'd make a nice cake. No easy store bought cake, I would make it and decorate it. Well, I did half of it. I made it from a Duncan Hines mix, BUT I decorated it all by myself. Here is a picture to prove it. . .
Thursday, October 2, 2008
But I have to share with you about last night and the sweetest sounds I have ever heard. Some of you might say your sweet sounds are when your spouse committed to you forever, or your babies first cries entering the world, or the sound of your boss giving you a raise, but I have decided the following is my sweet sound.
Last night Jeff was away at softball so the kids and I were doing the bed time routine. Complete with hair washing which both of them don't like and try to avoid at all costs. So we had bath time, brushed teeth, jammies were on, books were read, and we were all sitting in the rocker together. Then I asked them what song they'd like to hear and Lauren shouts out "AMAZING GRACE!" and Sean follows with "GRACE, GRACE!" (Yes, although I love the "new" worship music, I still love some old hymns and have been singing this one to my kids since birth.) :)
I began to sing and then Lauren began to sing, and then Sean began to sing. I start to sing softer so I can hear the kids. They go on to sing all three verses that I have always sang to them. Lauren knows all the words and sings them loud and clear, Sean seems to know all the last words to the phrases, but hums the rest.
I have decided that with all going on, this was a moment I will never give back. It was to me, the sweetest sound of all.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I have recently been so frustrated, I did something I vowed that I would never do as an Arizona voter. I have become an Independent. Yes, I have left my democrat party not for the other side, but for the middle. For those of you who don't know why one would not want to do this in Arizona, it is because you cannot vote in primary elections being an Independent voter. Yes, I broke my vow.
I don't know what happened to the "left" as we commonly refer to the Democrats. I am not even sure who hijacked them? Who was it that skew the old Roosevelt ways? Who turned the democrats in to whiny babies that only want to talk bout social issues that frankly will NEVER be solved by politics. Who turned the Democrats into the "Hollywood, feel good party". Well, I feel that I am just a tad bit too grown up for that. I consider myself and "old school" democrat now. A ,"To whom much is given much is required", but not give away the farm (as long as it not from my pocket) and screw everyone else, kind of gal. I am afraid I don't fit in anymore. I am not quite sure what happened, but frankly I could not take it anymore.
Maybe it will be back one day, but until then, I am officially an 'I'.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Jeff was in Israel again this month. The day he left, Lauren came down with a virus that was accompanied by a very high fever, but the blessing is that there was not any vomiting involved, as that is not so good with small kids. Then she got better and Sean came down with it, but the blessing is my mom came down for a couple days to help. Then Sean was good and Lauren broke out with the chicken pox! Yes, both kids have had the vaccine, but we were those people who ended up with the pox anyway, but the blessing is that is was a mild case for both of them. However, I do know what it is like to have cabin fever as we just had to stay at home for a while. But that is okay as they were well enough for a wonderful trip at the end of this month with great friends in the Tahoe/Donner area. And they were able to see their grandma, who had just gotten out of the hospital after major surgery, so those things were both blessings. I guess in it all we were provided many blessings.
I am sure September will be wonderful, and I can't believe it is here. Jeff is home for a while, Lauren is back in preschool, and we are getting our routine back in order.
Happy fall to those of you with fall like weather, it still feels like summer here! :)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The funny thing is that we ALL have these things, but very few of us share them-even with people who are close to us. We are all broken in some way or another, but yet we have this innate desire to pretend. We have become great pretenders. So much that we laugh when we want to cry, lie when we should share truth, are in debt up to our eyeballs to keep up with the Jones & fake a lot of things that should be real.
Let's face it. Maybe we do it because we are just as judgemental towards others. It is like the parable of the spec of dust and the log. We are so eager to point out some one's spec of dust in their eye that we miss the log in our own. Maybe we do this because we can't face our own log. Maybe because calling someone else out or comparing ourselves with them would make us feel better. But in the end it doesn't.
I have decided I want to be the most "real" person I can be. I don't want to spend any time looking at the dust in other's eyes and want concentrate on having the Lord deal with my big fat log. Because I am sure it is even bigger than I realize.
It also makes me wonder. . .If we were all "real" would we have a lot more friends and be less stressed out?
Friday, August 1, 2008
First let me tell you she is a stay at home mom with 5, yes 5, children. The oldest is about 10 but then the other 4 are all under 6! She plays with them, disciplines them, teaches them about the grace of the Lord, cleans, does laundry, gets them to school and preschool, and volunteers. I think that is amazing, but if that was not enough, it gets even better. This is a women who has worked through the loss of her mother-in-law to Lou Gehrig's (shortly before her marriage), her father-in-law to cancer, almost lost her husband (who was not long ago in the hospital for days upon end), and now has found out that her brother has a cancerous tumor. Yet in all this, she still praises the name of the Lord and thanks Him for her sustenance. There is a song, "Praise You In The Storm", by a group called Casting Crowns and the chorus is as follows:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
This is what my wonderful friend does and I cannot say that about many people. She considers her family blessed and trials an opportunity to share her faith and who God is to her.
I have many heroes, some I have met and others I have not. Today I wanted to share with you just one who is absolutely amazing. And if you pray, please pray for her family and that the Lord will show Himself to her even in the midst of another 'storm'.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Lauren is potty trained. . well almost. She has been going to the bathroom for over a year now, but for some reason refuses to poop on the potty. She always comes to us once a day asking for a diaper. Many of you might think that the solution is a simple one, just don't give her a diaper. Been there, done that, and have a conversation from the doctor to remember it by. If I don't give her one she becomes extremely constipated and then this leads to even bigger problems and more fear about poop. (I will spare you the details.)
So, what have we done you ask? Basically if the girl goes poop on the potty I have promised her a trampoline. I know such a wonderful mother bribing her daughter, but this has not even worked yet.
Today we talked about poop on the way home from the splash park. As I once again was trying to convince her that everyone learns to poop on the potty. I mentioned the policeman in the car next to us poops on the potty and after the teenage girl int eh drive thru took my card to swipe it, I mentioned to Lauren that I bet even she goes poop on the potty. And without missing a beat, my daughter says "Mommy, I think you should ask her!" I proceed to giggle and explain why we can't ask people's toileting habits as it is not polite. Later in our conversation, I tell her that she can ask her Nana as I am sure she poops on the potty and Lauren replies "Mommy it is not polite to ask people if they poop on the potty."
Well there you have it. Lessons from Lauren. But I have not lost hope. We continue to pray nightly that God would help her to poop on the potty. I am just praying He helps before she goes to college! :)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Monsoon rain is not like any other rain in the country. Granted it can cause horrible flash flooding and forest fires, but it is amazing. The lightning on the horizon with the dark clouds is picture perfect. In a matter of minutes it can be a huge wind/rain/lightening/thunder storm and then it can move out as fast as it came to be. The thing I truly like best about rain in the desert is the smell. There is a certain smell that is accompanied by desert rain, and for those of you who don't live here, you must come smell it as it is like no other. I just can't describe it.
It rained late last night/early morning and it was wonderful to wake up hearing the rain.
Anyway. . I am so glad to have monsoon season!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Yes, it all had to do with the cart, Sean, a hysterical call to Jeff and the pediatricians office.
For months now we have had an ongoing cart battle. Lauren loves to ride in the front seat and Sean hates it, so I finally resigned to let Lauren sit in front and put Sean in the back. We have been doing this for a while and it has all worked out in my mind brilliantly. Until today.
Looking for cat food in PetsMart, I moved the cart a tad and WHAM! I look down and Sean has fallen out of the cart and is lying on the tile floor screaming! I rush to pick him up and of course the workers come running. I am in shock, embarrassed, can't wait to leave, and holding my baby boy as he screams. Luckily there was no blood and he did end up quieting down. As I left the store I was horrified at myself. I was sure the workers had looks of concern, but also the "I can't believe that mom" look and "why would she ever let her son in the back of the cart" look. However, as my good friend Karen pointed out, that was probably more my perception of the looks because of how I felt. Now as I look back it was probably more concern for Sean and hopes that I would not bring some silly, frivolous lawsuit to their company.
So, I get in the car then let my tears pour out of my body and call Jeff. He assures me Sean is okay and that all kids fall. Well, then I call the Dr. and know that if I have to take him in at least I am only a few short minutes from the office. So I talk to the nurse. (side bar: I LOVE THIS OFFICE THEY ARE AWESOME.) Karen, the RN who happens to know Sean well and love him was so kind to first ask me how I was, then after a few tears, I replied with "okay". She then ask about bumps, bruises, sleepiness, vomiting, etc. So as of now he seems fine, but for the next 2 nights I have to wake him at least twice to make sure he is able to rouse. Now in normal circumstances, I would NEVER wake a sleeping baby, but in this case I'd stay awake for both nights and wake him every hour if needed.
As the day has passed I feel better, have lost some of my "mom guilt", but it is still hangin' around a bit. Needless to say we need to stick to Costco with the 2 seats up front or I need to go to the stores at 10 pm by myself. :)
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Now after seeing how long I have not written in my blog, how my pictures are sitting on my camera waiting to be put on my computer and then will probably just stay there for a long time, and then actually printing them might be a feat, but these days scrapping them (one of my favorite things) will be close to a miracle.
Why do we do this? Or I might be the only one. Time is definitely not on our side. We are busy, we cram so much into our lives and I don't even think we purposely do so. We are a yes saying, try to do everything type society.
For me, even if for today, I want to stop and slow down. I have decided to not try and put 28hrs in day. :) But I am sure that in doing this it will not get my pictures printed any faster! HA!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
2 car seats
1 double stroller
1 DVD player
3 never before seen DVDs
diaper bags with all the goods
one change of clothes for each kiddo
and. . we are off!!!!!!
Okay so the list looks a lot more simple than the task, but we are going to Indiana to visit my sister and niece. It will be very fun (CRAZY) :) from the very minute we hit the airport I am sure. But hey, I am convinced we live in a constant state of crazy at our casa.
I have learned in traveling with kiddos to lay stuff out LONG in advance. Right now all the clothes are packed along with a separate suitcase we will have for day of the flight, as we are leaving out of PHX. My mom is going to help which is AWESOME! Jeff can't go due to work, but I am convinced he will be on vacation. I mean for Pete's sake, he will have to work everyday, but we are gone for a whole week (incl. a Sat. & Sun.) in which I am sure he will golf. :) So really, even though he is working he comes home to a quiet house, no dinner making,, no laundry, no bath taking time, no diapers, and two weekend days to himself- to me that spells VACATION!
Now I call our trip to the kids a vacation too, but that is for the kids. We will see if their mommy and Nana agree after our return! Fishers, IN here we come!!!!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
After Jeff left I started some laundry (for those of you with kids you know that you feel you are ALWAYS doing laundry) and let the kids watch Super Why and Dragon Tales on PBS. Yes, I know. I let my kids watch TV. Believe me I was much better about this when I only had one child. I had strict rules about TV watching (it rarely happened). That soon flew out the window with 2 kids at home, but at least it is PBS. So the kids were watching TV, I was folding laundry that I didn't get out of the dryer last night and cleaning up breakfast dishes.
After getting 2 kids books, a book for me and a Veggie Tales Bible Heroes DVD we were on our way home for lunch. But, being the fun (and remember lazy) mommy I am, we stopped at McDonald's and had chicken nuggets for lunch.
All this before noon! Whew. . .
Friday, May 16, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I have discovered that there are so many things I can feel guilty about in a day. That I have not sent family pics of my kids, that I have not called to check up on my mother in law, that my laundry is not done, that I need to send notes to some friends, the bathrooms need a good scrubbing, that I don't play with my kids enough, that I lost patience with my children this morning. All of it. . ridden with that word GUILT!!! I also feel guilty for writing this blog when there is laundry to do and dishes to clean, but then feel guilty that I have not written in my blog! Oh my goodness, I am so silly (as my daughter would say)! She is right. She is only 3 and she is right! I am silly.
So today I am going to write this blog, and not feel guilty. I might even sit down and have a cup of coffee and read while my little angels are asleep. Then I will try to discuss with another mom friend how they lost their patience with their children to help me absolve my own "mother guilt". And maybe I will ignore the laundry until the kids go to bed and play blocks and color and run in the backyard all afternoon. After all that sounds like much more fun. . .yes I will do that and maybe in my next blog, I will let you know how it went. :)
PS. . Jeff is safely back from Tel Aviv, he worked hard, but did get to tour some. He will go back again before the summer is over. He said it was wonderful and not at all what the media portrays it to be.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I feel that I was a victim of a nasty mom who should have kept her mouth shut this morning. I don't know her, never have seen her at the park before, but I don't really like her and have to admit I wouldn't want my kids to play with hers. Before I tell the story let me on the record say that I am very familiar that all moms compare kids. Is my kid like the neighbor kids, are they keeping up with other kids in regards to speech, motor skills, the list could go on and on. So yes, I do know this exists, but as a mom, for me these things are things NEVER spoken of aloud.
So with that side note here is my story. We were playing the park this morning when a group of moms asks the ages of the kids. I say 3 & 17 months, which most moms say "oh" to-except one. She waits, then turns to her friend on the bench, supposedly thinking she was talking softly says, "Wow, my son is 17 months too and is much taller and more active than that little boy". If people could hear hearts being crushed you could have heard my in Australia or even the North Pole. I was crushed. I believe Sean is adorable, he is a little short for his age and doesn't talk much but I wanted to scream "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM!!!" in her face. Either that or "GET A CLUE, think what you want, but you DON'T say it in public!!"
From this I began to wonder how many mothers or fathers I have hurt. Kids are all different. Thank goodness because right now the Lord knows I can only handle one Lauren and one Sean. Two of either personality might do me in. :) But if I can stay on this soap box a bit longer. . maybe we should all take a lesson and learn to pause and think. Thinking, are my words coming out of my mouth kind, or how would I feel. Just a suggestion to us all, myself included.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The kids new favorite to listen to in the car is Veggies Tales singing contemporary Christian hits. It is okay, but as with every CD we have two songs that are played over and over again at the pleading of Lauren and the clapping of Sean. The first, Newsboys, "Shine". The second, Steven Curtis Chapman, "Dive". In listening to "Shine" the other day, Lauren began to sing all the words. And then out of the blue says to me "Mommy, I love Jesus". I then replied that I loved Jesus to and for that moment dare I say, all was right with the world.
As much as my kids can challenge me, make me want to cry, scream, laugh, and at times pull my hair out, I am trying my best to teach them. And for that moment in time, I felt like I had done something right. And that, thus far is my proudest moment in parenting my little girl.
Monday, March 24, 2008
What I do know is that I am many things, but all in all just trying to do the best I can and have fun with it all.