Sunday, July 8, 2012

First Week as a Working Outside the Home Mom

So, I have completed my first week of a full time working outside the home mom or what I will refer to as WOTH mom.

First, let me boldly stand and applaud all those mommies who have been doing this since their  children were tiny because it is by far more exhausting in a week than most every week I had as a SAHM (stay at home mom).  I am not here to start an argument over who works harder, etc because both are extremely difficult.  But exhausting??  If I had to vote the WOTH moms win.
I say this only based upon my experience. (Oh and please know that when I stayed at home I could have spent way more time organizing and cleaning my home, as those of  you who have spent time in my home can attest.)  When a SAHM I ran my own day, I was the queen.  For example, if I was exhausted I could lay down with C at nap time or choose to not do laundry for that day, etc. Yeah, that didn't really work this week.:)  I don't' think my principal would like it if I asked to build in a 20 minute power nap to my schedule.

Also, I have learned you have to be organized.  Now know that my current organization level will only probably last the next month.  And then I will be blogging that I have lost all control and feel like a snowball running down Mt. Everest.  But there has to be organization.  Example?  Colin's birthday party today.  Normally I would make my lists and go to certain stores and then if I forgot to run to Target I would say "Forgettta about it (using my best mob voice), I can go tomorrow."  Not the case when working full time.  There are pretty much only certain times for errands so I am thinking to make this work I need to maximize my errand running time. 

Finally a part I have not had the full grasp of quite yet.  Spending all day without my kids.  We have been blessed last week and this to have family staying with the kids as they do not start everything until next week.  Here are my pros and cons. Pro, I have loved spending so much time with adults.  I have had to control my thoughts to ask them if they have to go potty or if they need help at lunch.  It has been nice to utilized my brain in a different capacity.
The cons, ovbisouly the quote from my youngest peanut on Friday "You go to work, NEVER!"  Yes I had to fight back tears and the the idea that I was some horrible mommy that should immediately be tried for neglect.  But I didn't cry in front of him and just said, "A lot of mommies work, I will see you after nap and you will have fun with Kelsey!"  And I was able to do this because of the great advice from other WOTH moms. I know we will have many more months of transition and a few more tears, but in the end I can honestly say I do believe this will be wonderful for all of us.

Which brings me to two pieces of advice that I received from two amazing moms who have had much more experience with WOTH.  I will share them with you as I think they are GOLDEN!!
First, if you don't have the "right" childcare for you little people that you are 100% comfortable with, you and they will be miserable.  Why you ask?  Because you will contstantly be thinking about them, never able to do your work, and spend your whole day counting down the hours until you can run to them.  So, RULE #1 find a good school/provider.
The second piece of wisdom I will call RULE #2.  "If you are okay with it, they will be okay with it."  If you are a mom you know that kids smell fear/anxiety/happiness, etc. even when we don't express them aloud.  So when the little peanut expressed his displeasure in his working mama, I let him and then did not cry or make it a big deal.  More just a matter of fact that I was headed to work and we'd play later.

My first week as WOTH mom, DONE.  Although I left it with exhaustion and wanting to sleep on my couch at 5:30 each evening, I also feel that I am happier, have more patience with my kiddos and actually have spent more meaningful time with them, as well as Jeff and I working more as a team together.