Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Here are some pictures from our adventures:
I pray that if you read this. . and even if you don't that you have an amazing 2011, with abundant blessings. I pray your burdens would be light and that there would be many hands in your life to help carry you. I pray you may live life with laughter and love.
Have an amazing 2011!!!
Friday, December 10, 2010
All these things are suppose to be fun, but I have been a Grinch about them. And I know that I am not the only one out there. My friend calls it the "Costco Effect". Tucson Costco's are one of the worst places to be anytime, as there are only 2 for over a million people. There is a line of at least 100 people when their doors open everyday! And the holidays are worse. She calls it that, because the nicest people you will ever meet will pull into Costco and become nasty. They don't like it, they don't even mean to do it, but it happens.
I think I have been hit with the "Costco effect". I am tired of crowds already. I just want to stay at home with my family and watch Christmas movies, but the facts are the facts. Jeff has to work, Lauren still has school and homework, and I still have the never ending pile of laundry. So I will do my best to fight this "Costco effect" and be joyous. If you have any suggestions on how. . .I would welcome them!
May you be blessed with joy and stay away from Costco!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
*Jeff has introduced the kids to some questionable music, but this is funny.
There is a song I am sure you have heard, with lyrics that say "like a G6, like a G6", over and over.
Well, the other night we listened to Lauren singing it and she kept signing "like a cheese stick, like a cheese stick".
*I found out from one of Sean's preschool teachers today that during clean up time at school she turned around and he had his pants and underwear down around his ankles. When asked what he was doing, his matter of fact response was, "I had an itch!" Then she made him put his pants back on and wash his hands.
My kids are funny and crazy! Hope you are having a great week!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I was reminded of a quote by a good friend "If you can dream it, you can scheme it!" We used to love that quote and used it frequently. However that was before marriage, kids, bigger jobs, strains of "real" life, etc.
So this is what many of us in our generation dream for:
-big job, climbing the corporate ladder
-a church or great spiritual life
-a wonderful, loving marriage
-2, 3, 4,or even more kids
-a large house to house everyone
-nice cars to drive
-authentic, nurturing friendships
-a social network
-volunteering our time
This is the quick list I came up with, but I am sure I have missed some. LOOK AT THAT LIST! There are only 7 days a week and only 24 hours in them. We want everything on that list and we want to be able to do it all with excellence. I am here to tell you that I believe it is impossible!!!
We have to make hard decisions, we have to decide where to focus our time and talents. I do believe that God doesn't believe we need it all either. After all . . what would be the purpose of Jesus.
I pray this season for you and my own family that we would stop. That we would breathe. That we would realize that having it all, has not made us joyful, energetic people. It has only made us tired wanderers. Maybe the phrase needs to be re-written. Maybe we should say to our kids to find their "few" and do that well and with passion.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The husband and wife have different opinions on which of their routes are faster to a restaurant. They agreed they would split up and take two cars to see who might win. (Jeff and I wold totally do this!) So she tells their youngest son, Luke to come with her, but he wanted to go with the dad. The girls went with dad. On the way, Luke asks why they are divorcing as he misunderstood "splitting up" that was discussed regarding the drive. His mom assures him that everything is fine, it was just the game they were playing. However, then she stops and rethinks how her son really wanted to go with his dad. She comes to her own conclusion that her son would have chosen his father because he is more fun. She then goes on a rant with my favorite line "I USED TO BE FUN YOU KNOW!" And explains to her son why there just can't be two fun parents in a family. Only the kid that comes to school in pjs and pays for lunch with hundred dollar bills has two fun parents. Someone must not be fun any longer. I laughed so hard at this that I almost cried. And then I realized I was laughing because I have often felt the same thing.
There are sometimes when all the kids and Jeff are messing around and they want me to join in, or times when they give me a hard time about not being fun. I never thought that would be me. So the past couple days I have vowed to be more fun like I was before I had kids! Let's face it, we all need to lighten up a bit and laugh a little more! Oh and you should definitely catch that episode. It also made me want to be part of a flash mob! HA!
Monday, November 22, 2010
He is one funny kid. . but super sneaky. How can you not love this face!??!?!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Today I just started feeling a little better. As if maybe this running gig was paying off. Things maybe are firmer and getting smaller (although there is a long way to go). And then the following event occurred.
As we were sitting on the couch watching the end of a movie, Lauren puts her head gently on my stomach and says "Are you having another baby?" I tried just to laugh and not to cry and said no. She was very disappointed. Jeff tried to make me feel better to say that maybe she just wanted another family member. But good try. Hard to miss the fact she was pointing to my stomach when she asked. What I really wanted to say is that my large stomach just came from housing 3 wonderful babies who just so happened to make me crave carbs and chocolate. But she still wouldn't get it. Maybe one day she will, but let's hope by then I will have lost some of the rolly polly nature or lipo will be a lot cheaper!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Well if you ask me this is a loaded question that really is only a divisive tool by the devil. I have thought a lot about this and what I believe. I know that scripture says that we are created in God's image and I know the scripture that says not one is righteous. But what if it was neither?
Judging from history, good, can come from people just as bad can. I think the bad is just sin. And no one is without sin. But sin doesn't mean that God created something bad, it just means he created something that needs a savior.
If we were all created bad, then why does good exist? If we were all created good then why is the bad? See why I think this question is a keenly devised one by Satan. It gets us to debate with believers and non believers a point that in the end doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter in the end how you were born. It is if werecognize Him. It is if we recognize that we were created for so much more. It is if we recognize the need for a savior and the gift to spend eternity with the one who created us.
It doesn't matter because in the end, He works ALL things together for good. I have done some good things and plenty of bad. But God has used each one. This is only one girl's opinion.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
I think that is all I will share for I seemed to have inserted both my feet into my mouth in the past 48 hrs. I am probably unknown to me working on my arms as we speak. So . . that is my Monday and I would hate to say anything else.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
So this book is the funniest book I have read in a long time. I laugh aloud when I read it. I love it!
If you read my blog you will know that I posted a short blip about how I was going to run a half marathon May 7, 2011. It was short for several reasons. First, I have made such remarks before that I was going to do something big and let's face it. . .didn't. Second, I think I didn't want to draw too much attention as I wouldn't want people to ask me about it. Even Jeff looked at me like I was crazy when I told him. Let's face it, I am a slightly overweight mother of 3, that barely has time to do any exercise let along hours of jogging/walking. And yes I use jogging as what I do is not really running at all.
However, after reading part of this book, I am writing a new post about my intentions. The fact that I am already registered for this race is some more motivation as well. I will be running the Indiana Mini. Why they call it a mini I do not know. 13.1 miles is NO mini to me. But I will be joined by two other crazy people, Katy, my sister and my father, who happens to be turning 60 on the day of the race itself.
I have discovered there a a few things that keep me from just doing it, as Nike would say. Well one big thing. FEAR. Here are my fears put out there for you all to see. First, I am slow, and when I mean slow, I mean the turtle from the turtle and the hare could probably lap me twice. Second, I am overweight and as we know, running involves carrying your own body weight, which really sucks. Sometimes I feel like I am carrying an extra toddler with me. I am afraid of failure, I am afraid of blisters on my feet, I am afraid that people driving down Houghton will mock at me from their cars as I am desperately panting away. I am afraid that people will want to run with me (more on this later), I will run with them, and then they will internally think, "Poor girl, I hope she makes it" or "Poor girl doesn't stand a chance." I am sure there are others but that is what comes to mind right now.
The book, along with others tell you when you are going to do this to tell EVERYONE! That is one way you can't get out of it. Motivation by guilt that if you have told everyone you know that then you would feel like a complete idiot backing out.
So this past week I have had two wonderful women say they'd run with me. And I have a fear of them both (no offense to you lovely ladies if you read this). I am new at this. One even asked me to run the short leg of the P.F. Changs relay. My fear is that I will slow her down. That she is going to do the 8.4 miles faster than I can run the 4.7. The other wonderful lady just finished a triathlon. So. . . now you see what my life is like. But like I read in a another blog this week, I just have to put my big girl panties on and do it. And maybe, just maybe, my fear will get smaller and so will the size of my panties.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
First Haircut: he was the only one out of the 3 to not scream as though his head was also being cut off with his hair.
Sean took this picture. . . He loves these crocs. And thus he should as there is a huge purchase/return/purchase/return story with them.
Ahhh, my sweet girl.
(For the record, the boys are sweet too, but in a boy way!)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
1. a painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc. done by oneself or another
2. a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute
3. something that brings censure or reproach
Here is shame in its verb form:
1. to cause to feel shame, make ashamed
2. to drive force, etc. through shame
3. to cover with ignominy or reproach
I have titled this the way I do because there is no shortage of shame going around. In fact we don't even have to look past ourselves to find it. However, even if you don't heap it upon yourself, chances are there is someone or more than one readily available to heap it on for you.
For years, I feel that the christian community (& I know I am generalizing) has readily put shame and guilt in our back pockets to motivate people to or back to God. Funny thing. . .GOD DOESN'T NEED OUR HELP! Yes, I used caps because that is how strongly I believe this. Shame is straight from the pits of hell. Now don't get me wrong, there is a thing called conviction. To quote dictionary.com again, conviction is a fixed or firm belief. So, how often do we as a society convict someone for just being a rotten individual. We don't. They are convicted for a specific thing. From a Beth Moore study, I learned this very truth. The over all crummy feeling we get is not from God, God is very specific about something. And His goal is not for us to crawl into the shadows and feel horrible, it is to come into the light to be renewed.
For years I have struggled with shame, from my bad choices, from things I have said, from doing the "wrong" things as a parent. I also wonder how many times I have knowingly or unknowingly shamed another in my ungraceful words or actions.
I have been convicted about one thing over the past several years and that is about how to truly live a grace filled life. In this I have been set free from the ugly shame and guilt and have learned that I am being refined day after day. I don't subscribe to the philosophy that God won't use me until he is done working on me. That is preposterous to me! If so, I would not be used until I was dead, right?!?! So I hope that in this post you will find some freedom. Some relief, knowing that freedom is much better than shame. "For there is NO condemnation in Christ" Romans 8:1
So now when someone asks you for a big helping of shame you can kindly say, no thank you!
Oh and I accepted a challenge to blog everyday in Nov. As you can see I have already failed. . I have chosen no shame or guilt with the fact I have already failed at day three. HA! :)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I am sure you are as happy as I am to soon be done with phone calls, mailings, etc.
During elections I always think of 2 teachers I had in HS. One thought all Americans should practice their right to vote no matter what, the other thought that you should only vote if you had educated yourself on the candidates and issues on the ballot. I have to say I tend to agree with the latter. If we are not educated about what is on the ballot in my opinion we should not vote.
I tend to get anxious about elections. All the news media and people seem to proclaim the end of the world if so and so is not elected or if one house or the other holds the power, and on and on. There is so much fear in elections I have decided this year not to be anxious. I could. I could be scared about a large tax increase, I could be scared about my health care, I could be scared that someone will tell me what to believe. Yet, these things do not change one fact I am certain of, and that is God is still on his throne. He has never, not for minute left it, and nor does He intend to. No matter what happens in an elections this I know to be true, and that gives me peace.
Funny thing in explaining the voting process to Lauren and that it was a secret ballot she said, "Well, Mommy, I bet they vote for you." She is too sweet to me.
Monday, November 1, 2010
So. . I am taking the challenge. This is my first post to tell you about the challenge. But I also wanted to take a moment to share some fun news that just happened tonight.
My daughter can now officially ride a 2 wheel bicycle. YAY!!! The video we have is really dark so I will try to get another one and post it on one of the days this month!! It is so cool to see.
Wish me luck. . .I am going to need it!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
I must be crazy. . .
Friday, July 23, 2010
For Lauren, I think her brave face was this week. And today it was VERY clear. She wants so much to be big. She wants Jeff and I to always know that she can do it all, from feeding her brother, to combing her hair, to picking out her clothes.
So, today was the last day I was going to take her to school before the big riding-of-the-bus day on Monday. I walked her in and encouraged her to play with the other kids on the playground. She said no and then asked when they were going to blow the whistle. That all so familiar sound that we all know means LINE UP!! And then I looked at her face when she spoke, it was her brave face. But I knew that I had to leave. I had to let her have the time to be okay with me not there, so I kissed her goodbye. I walked around the corner and she continued to hover around the wall waiting for that familiar sound that would let her know it was time to go in. I watched her for the longest 4 minutes EVER!!! I got teary as I looked at her. She continued to hold onto her "brave face". Then finally the whistle blew and she bounced into line, with a look of relief.
She did it. . . I am so very proud of her this week. Even though I tell her, I am not sure she will ever understand how proud I am. Maybe that will come when she has her own kids that put on their "brave faces".
Monday, July 19, 2010
Kinder is not like that. I feel as if I went to Target, looked around for a nice person and asked them to come home and take care of my child. A person off the street. Having worked at a school I never appreciated the gravity of the trust placed in me by parents. It is a big deal that parents entrust their children to teachers/staff/schools for hours at a time. Lauren is my heart, she is part of me and one of my greatest treasures. I wish I understood this better for all the years I was in the school system. I don't know her teacher, I don't know that someone is looking out for just her. There is a quote that having a child is allowing your heart to live outside your body. There has never been a quote so true to my heart than this one right now.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
We have had a great summer so far. Next week my big girl starts Kinder.. . .I am trying not to think about it, so I have posted some of our summer fun which includes a trip to Indy, before/after pictures of our floor remodel (but the after pics don't do the floor justice), the trip to Phx while the floors were being put in and tons of silliness. Hope this finds you well! Oh & for some reason these pics are not "initializing" so if you want to see them all just click where it says "click here to view these pictures larger".
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Today we had a preschool promotion for our little girl who will begin kindergarten in 6 short weeks. I really went into the whole thing thinking it would be cute, but not giving much thought to the fact that I would SOB like a baby at one point in the presentation. After all, I had been hearing the songs they were singing for over a month and I had seen her class perform songs at Christmas. This was a fun event. But what I heard and saw from my sweet and precious girl will be forever burned in my mind, heart, & soul. (And my amazing husband managed to capture it on video.)
Before I show it to you let me explain some insecurities. For the longest time I truly believed that my "value" was on how I performed in school, the degrees I held, how many people I could help in my social work positions, how I moved up in my employment, etc. Then I became a mom and knew that I wanted to stay home, but the switch was tricky. I realize how important my mom job is, but sometimes I fall back into the old definition of value and feel that I have less value because I am "just" a stay at home mom. After all no one is proclaiming my deeds of cleaning up meal after meal, completing load after load of laundry, reading "Owl Babies" for the millionth time, reminding little people to eat with their fork, use the potty, and clean the potty, before other co-workers where I get a little certificate. :) But this video and the sound of my beautiful girl's voice is more than I could ever ask for. I will let you see the video because yes, I am just that proud.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I have cried out to God about amount of pain that others are going through. A tragic car accident took a young grandmother, her granddaughter and left the mommy to be and unborn baby in serious condition. I know members of this family and am truly heartbroken for them and cry out to God on their behalf. At the same time I received a phone call about this, I was reading a journal about a young boy and his regimen of radiation and chemo at such a young age and I cried as I read his mother's words and again my heart went out. And then there is a wonderful father with kids and a beautiful wife, again, fighting with cancer. There are several more stories like these everyday.
I cry out to the Lord and ask why these people have so much suffering and I am left with no answer other than "I am not done yet". I believe and know that the Lord can bring beauty from pain. I was talking to my mom about the tragic event and she told me two stories from her Beth Moore study. The first involves 4 missionary woman that were serving in Iraq. Three of them died and when the fourth came to, she asked "Did they make it?" And the answer was no, they died. The pastor at the memorial service turned this around and said that the three woman were now in all His glory in heaven asked "Did she make it?" And the answer was no. . she is not here yet.
The second story is about Beth Moore stating that she likes everything wrapped up in a nice bow. And let's face it, who doesn't want things all tied up, no loose ends, something that is beautifully packaged, clean, neat. But that is not how God works. If you look through the bible and the stories of the patriarchs and the Israelites, the promise land was not all packaged in a nice bow. Jesus' death was not all packaged in a nice bow. It was painful there was the unknown, questioning, grumbling, weeping, utter fear. But God still had His hand there. Beth Moore is right. . .God doesn't tie it up for us and give it to us neat, He ties it all together.
In a blink of eye things change, diagnoses are given, people die, pain occurs. I am choosing to believe that God is there putting it all together in his Sovereign ways.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I think that maybe reading it slow has been a blessing to me as I tend to look at my life as the characters look at their lives.
Basically I have been pondering authentic living. At first glance I would say. . of course I am authentic. I have always said "what you see is what you get". But as I look closer and have some conversations I can see that I am not all that authentic.
My sister and I were talking the other day. She has been blessed by several friends with offers lending meals and helping hands towards the end of her pregnancy and now that she now has a newborn and a very active preschooler. She was saying she just hates to "bother" others. She knows they offer, but doesn't want to take advantage of them. In turn I told her what my mother tells me and I know, but don't always do "Take them up on it. If they didn't want to help, they wouldn't offer!" I know that when I offer I want people to take me up on it! As the words came out of my mouth I began to think about my offers and authentic living. I will try to make the connection for you.
I am sure you have heard you need to be the friend you want to get. Really!?!?! So if I look at myself, do I really want a imperfect, slightly overweight, hugging my kids only to yell at them the next hour, messing housewife, totally crazy, somewhat inconsistent, kind hearted, God fearing, thankful I get to try it again tomorrow woman? And my answer these days YES I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want a friend like that. If I attract friends the way I "fake" life, that means I would get a distant, not going to let you in, pretend my marriage, kids, life are doing just find. And I don't want to "do life" with someone like I am acting.
I want to know a person's struggles, I want to pray for them, love on them, love on their family. I want to be able to cry with them and have them cry with me. I want them to help me but know I will make horrible blunders and love me anyway. I want them to know my kids fight, that I don't always talk nicely to them, that I lose my patience. I want someone to know those things, and I want to know their "things". And do life with GRACE.
So maybe the phrase should be if you want a authentic friend, be an authentic person.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Jeff and I decided a while back that we would go to Disneyland for each child's 5th birthday and since Lauren will be 5 very soon. . it was time!
We had a wonderful time full of fun, family, extended family and laughter!
Above this post are many, many pictures to prove it!!! :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
I asked her the other day if she wanted me to teach her from home and then she could stay with me all day. And she emphatically replied "NO! I have to go to kindergarten!" Upon asking her why, she replied "Because they read books there, mom!" I said we could read books here and she did not go for that either. She thinks she is ready, but we will see when the first day of school comes along. . . I think she is more talk right now, but she might surprise me.
Sean is either making me fall on the floor in laughter or in pain depending on his listening skills that day. He is definitely the boy who will carve his own path and will not just follow the rules because someone said that is what he will do. He likes to ask "WHY?" often and recently my favorite things to hear him say are "Mom, I was thinking. . . " and "Mom, we need to talk." Both are said often when he wants to show me something or when he is done with a time out. He keeps me on my toes and is the greatest snuggler in the world. My favorite moments are those we just talk and I rub his forehead right before he falls asleep.
Colin, my baby, he is already 7 months old and I am wanting to slow his growth down, because I find myself wanting him to stay a baby. It is amazing that God has given me the capability to be up all night, spit on, drooled on, pooped on, etc. and I still want to keep him little. In the moments of frustration I want to get over the baby stage, but when I really step back I want to hold on to each moment, because I can never get it back. In fact last night we were up at about 130 a.m. and he fell back asleep on my shoulder. Normally I would lay him back down in a daze and shuffle back to bed to try and sleep more until another cry would awake me. But this time was different I felt compelled to continue to rock and hum and love on him for a bit longer. I felt I had to freeze that moment together.
This is a snapshot of where I am. There are moments I would give anything for Calgon to truly take me away or a nurse with a van and a straight jacket for that matter. But then there are the moments when I sit back, in somewhat quiet and thank God for the 3 little blessings I have and where I am right at this moment.