Brave Face

So I wonder when we develop our "brave face". You know, the face that says we are going to grit our teeth and do our best to not cry or be upset. The face that says I am not happy, but I am going to try and make it look like I am totally fine, that I am cool as a cucumber, that "I can do this!"
For Lauren, I think her brave face was this week. And today it was VERY clear. She wants so much to be big. She wants Jeff and I to always know that she can do it all, from feeding her brother, to combing her hair, to picking out her clothes.

So, today was the last day I was going to take her to school before the big riding-of-the-bus day on Monday. I walked her in and encouraged her to play with the other kids on the playground. She said no and then asked when they were going to blow the whistle. That all so familiar sound that we all know means LINE UP!! And then I looked at her face when she spoke, it was her brave face. But I knew that I had to leave. I had to let her have the time to be okay with me not there, so I kissed her goodbye. I walked around the corner and she continued to hover around the wall waiting for that familiar sound that would let her know it was time to go in. I watched her for the longest 4 minutes EVER!!! I got teary as I looked at her. She continued to hold onto her "brave face". Then finally the whistle blew and she bounced into line, with a look of relief.

She did it. . . I am so very proud of her this week. Even though I tell her, I am not sure she will ever understand how proud I am. Maybe that will come when she has her own kids that put on their "brave faces".