You Can Have it All. . . but You Might Just Be Miserable With It

I have heard over and over in my generation: "You can have it all!"  You can be a successful business person, wife/husband, mother/father, social activist, God follower, philanthropist, sister/brother, best friend, cousin, etc.  You name it. . you can do it!  After all we have so much technology to keep us up to date.  I can count a handful of times that I learned something about my sister right there on FB.  But after living my own life and hearing from other friends, we just can't have it all. . or you might, but you just might be miserable along with it.

I was reminded of a quote by a good friend "If you can dream it, you can scheme it!"  We used to love that quote and used it frequently.  However that was before marriage, kids, bigger jobs, strains of "real" life, etc.  

So this is what many of us in our generation dream for:

-big job, climbing the corporate ladder
-a church or great spiritual life

-a wonderful, loving marriage
-2, 3, 4,or even more kids
-pets
-a large house to house everyone
-nice cars to drive
-wonderful vacations
-authentic, nurturing friendships
-a social network
-relaxation time
-volunteering our time

This is the quick list I came up with, but I am sure I have missed some. LOOK AT THAT LIST!  There are only 7 days a week and only 24 hours in them.  We want everything on that list and we want to be able to do it all with excellence.  I am here to tell you that I believe it is impossible!!! 

We have to make hard decisions, we have to decide where to focus our time and talents.   I do believe that God doesn't believe we need it all either.  After all . . what would be the purpose of Jesus. 
I pray this season for you and my own family that we would stop.  That we would breathe.  That we would realize that having it all, has not made us joyful, energetic people.  It has only made us tired wanderers.  Maybe the phrase needs to be re-written.  Maybe we should say to our kids to find their "few"  and do that well and with passion.

I am funny!!!

We have been watching a show called Modern Family.  It is very funny.  I laugh aloud almost all the way through it.  The last show really struck a chord with me.  If you watch it, you will know.  If not, here is the brief story.
The husband and wife have different opinions on which of their routes are faster to a restaurant.  They agreed they would split up and take two cars to see who might win.  (Jeff and I wold totally do this!)  So she tells their youngest son, Luke to come with her, but he wanted to go with the dad.  The girls went with dad.  On the way, Luke asks why they are divorcing as he misunderstood "splitting up" that was discussed regarding the drive.  His mom assures him that everything is fine, it was just the game they were playing.  However, then she stops and rethinks how her son really wanted to go with his dad.  She comes to her own conclusion that her son would have chosen his father because he is more fun.  She then goes on a rant with my favorite line "I USED TO BE FUN YOU KNOW!" And explains to her son why there just can't be two fun parents in a family.  Only the kid that comes to school in pjs and pays for lunch with hundred dollar bills has two fun parents.   Someone must not be fun any longer.   I laughed so hard at this that I almost cried.  And then I realized I was laughing because I have often felt the same thing. 
There are sometimes when all the kids and Jeff are messing around and they want me to join in, or times when they give me a hard time about not being fun.  I never thought that would be me.  So the past couple days I have vowed to be more fun like I was before I had kids!  Let's face it, we all need to lighten up a bit and laugh a little more!  Oh and you should definitely catch that episode.  It also made me want to be part of a flash mob! HA!

Sneaky has a name. . .

. . and the name is Sean. He is so sneaky that boy. He always has thing in his pockets and is trying to hide things. Once I found a bunch of AA batteries in his bed. Just because. He loves pants with pockets. As a matter of fact he doesn't like when he has shorts or pants on without pockets because it inhibits his ability to put things "away". At preschool last week he was given a gingerbread cookie. He secretly put it in his pocket for the whole morning and proudly presented it to me when he walked out the door, as if he had won the grand prize because he had kept it a secret from his teachers and unbroken the whole time. The other day I found him trying to fit a bar of soap in his pocket, he wanted to keep it as his "baby".

He is one funny kid. . but super sneaky. How can you not love this face!??!?!

Pregnant

I knew you'd read this one by the title. And NO I am not pregnant.

Today I just started feeling a little better. As if maybe this running gig was paying off. Things maybe are firmer and getting smaller (although there is a long way to go). And then the following event occurred.

As we were sitting on the couch watching the end of a movie, Lauren puts her head gently on my stomach and says "Are you having another baby?" I tried just to laugh and not to cry and said no. She was very disappointed. Jeff tried to make me feel better to say that maybe she just wanted another family member. But good try. Hard to miss the fact she was pointing to my stomach when she asked. What I really wanted to say is that my large stomach just came from housing 3 wonderful babies who just so happened to make me crave carbs and chocolate. But she still wouldn't get it. Maybe one day she will, but let's hope by then I will have lost some of the rolly polly nature or lipo will be a lot cheaper!

Good V. Bad (or does it matter?)

A friend recently posted on FB the question she was posed at a grocery store. Are we created good or are we created bad?
Well if you ask me this is a loaded question that really is only a divisive tool by the devil. I have thought a lot about this and what I believe. I know that scripture says that we are created in God's image and I know the scripture that says not one is righteous. But what if it was neither?
Judging from history, good, can come from people just as bad can. I think the bad is just sin. And no one is without sin. But sin doesn't mean that God created something bad, it just means he created something that needs a savior.
If we were all created bad, then why does good exist? If we were all created good then why is the bad? See why I think this question is a keenly devised one by Satan. It gets us to debate with believers and non believers a point that in the end doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter in the end how you were born. It is if werecognize Him. It is if we recognize that we were created for so much more. It is if we recognize the need for a savior and the gift to spend eternity with the one who created us.

It doesn't matter because in the end, He works ALL things together for good. I have done some good things and plenty of bad. But God has used each one. This is only one girl's opinion.

Wordless Wednesday

God Breathed Funny

This morning I was telling Lauren that all scripture is God breathed. When we opened up the bible to look for a verse she said pointing the the words, "Look God is breathing!" and started breathing heavily on the pages. :) Too funny!

Insert Foot

So. . We had a great weekend. Could have done without the UA loss, but had a great time with Jeff's parents, at the kid's soccer games, at the UA game, and with great friends for dinner. It was a busy weekend, but nice.

I think that is all I will share for I seemed to have inserted both my feet into my mouth in the past 48 hrs. I am probably unknown to me working on my arms as we speak. So . . that is my Monday and I would hate to say anything else.

Update

It is Friday and Jeff's parents are here so I will be brief. I did get to jog/walk.
Here are the results.
2.58 miles in 32:31 For some of you this is what we call "walking" for me it was a pretty good time.

Here I Go. . .

So, I thought I would tell you in this blog how I woke up to a bed full of urine and diarrhea and no it wasn't mine. :) But really?!?! No one wants to read about diarrhea and urine soaked kids' sheets. Out of the three readers I have, half of you probably already have these type of things at your own home, so I will spare you the details of my day. Instead I will talk about a new book and all my fears. Much better, right?

So this book is the funniest book I have read in a long time. I laugh aloud when I read it. I love it!

If you read my blog you will know that I posted a short blip about how I was going to run a half marathon May 7, 2011. It was short for several reasons. First, I have made such remarks before that I was going to do something big and let's face it. . .didn't. Second, I think I didn't want to draw too much attention as I wouldn't want people to ask me about it. Even Jeff looked at me like I was crazy when I told him. Let's face it, I am a slightly overweight mother of 3, that barely has time to do any exercise let along hours of jogging/walking. And yes I use jogging as what I do is not really running at all.

However, after reading part of this book, I am writing a new post about my intentions. The fact that I am already registered for this race is some more motivation as well. I will be running the Indiana Mini. Why they call it a mini I do not know. 13.1 miles is NO mini to me. But I will be joined by two other crazy people, Katy, my sister and my father, who happens to be turning 60 on the day of the race itself.

I have discovered there a a few things that keep me from just doing it, as Nike would say. Well one big thing. FEAR. Here are my fears put out there for you all to see. First, I am slow, and when I mean slow, I mean the turtle from the turtle and the hare could probably lap me twice. Second, I am overweight and as we know, running involves carrying your own body weight, which really sucks. Sometimes I feel like I am carrying an extra toddler with me. I am afraid of failure, I am afraid of blisters on my feet, I am afraid that people driving down Houghton will mock at me from their cars as I am desperately panting away. I am afraid that people will want to run with me (more on this later), I will run with them, and then they will internally think, "Poor girl, I hope she makes it" or "Poor girl doesn't stand a chance." I am sure there are others but that is what comes to mind right now.

The book, along with others tell you when you are going to do this to tell EVERYONE! That is one way you can't get out of it. Motivation by guilt that if you have told everyone you know that then you would feel like a complete idiot backing out.

So this past week I have had two wonderful women say they'd run with me. And I have a fear of them both (no offense to you lovely ladies if you read this). I am new at this. One even asked me to run the short leg of the P.F. Changs relay. My fear is that I will slow her down. That she is going to do the 8.4 miles faster than I can run the 4.7. The other wonderful lady just finished a triathlon. So. . . now you see what my life is like. But like I read in a another blog this week, I just have to put my big girl panties on and do it. And maybe, just maybe, my fear will get smaller and so will the size of my panties.

Wordless Wednesday

I am tired today, and a friend said she loves when I post pictures. . so here you go! Today is picture Wednesday!

Story Time with Curious George at UA
Sweet kiddos

First Haircut: he was the only one out of the 3 to not scream as though his head was also being cut off with his hair.



Sean took this picture. . . He loves these crocs. And thus he should as there is a huge purchase/return/purchase/return story with them.



Ahhh, my sweet girl.
(For the record, the boys are sweet too, but in a boy way!)

They are here. . .

YES!!! You probably will think this is a silly blog, but I do not care. THEY ARE HERE!!! Not babies, not puppies, not family, but our new Maytag Bravos washer and dryer. I could not be more excited.

The previous ones have left our home. They had a 10 year run, but we had fixed the washer about 4 times, the front was held on by zip ties and I had to use the spin cycle twice to actually drain water from the tub. The dryer was doing better, but still needed to be turned on via a wrench. Needless to say we finally decided to put them out to pasture.

So, we have these amazing friends that moved to MI and I am not saying amazing just because they hooked us up, but because they are an amazing family. Well, we were blessed with a favorable price due to his generous work discount. (As I type this I hope I am not getting him in trouble.) But it was AWESOME!!

So here they are. . .our new babies. Well, my new babies.

Jeff said to me after they arrived. "So, are you going to always be doing laundry?" (That was his secret hope.) And I replied with the honest truth that I might do well for the first week, maybe even two, but who are we kidding, laundry is not my strong point, along with many other domestic chores. And let's face it, until the machines actually fold and put the laundry away themselves, it will probably be the same old, same old around here very soon.

Sean's Funny comment

As we are walking through Walmart we pass the lingerie section & these are the precious boys' words.
"MOM, Look BLUE BOOBS!!!"
And yes he is our little one with no volume control. I think I heard some chuckles a few aisles away.
:) Have a wonderful day!

Funny Comment

So as I was making dinner tonight this was the "funny".

L: Mommy how come daddy never cooks dinner?

Therein is the funny comment for the night. I am too exhausted for more.

Can you please pass the Shame?

This is what dictionary.com has to say about shame:
n.
1. a painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc. done by oneself or another
2. a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute
3. something that brings censure or reproach

Here is shame in its verb form:
1. to cause to feel shame, make ashamed
2. to drive force, etc. through shame
3. to cover with ignominy or reproach

I have titled this the way I do because there is no shortage of shame going around. In fact we don't even have to look past ourselves to find it. However, even if you don't heap it upon yourself, chances are there is someone or more than one readily available to heap it on for you.

For years, I feel that the christian community (& I know I am generalizing) has readily put shame and guilt in our back pockets to motivate people to or back to God. Funny thing. . .GOD DOESN'T NEED OUR HELP! Yes, I used caps because that is how strongly I believe this. Shame is straight from the pits of hell. Now don't get me wrong, there is a thing called conviction. To quote dictionary.com again, conviction is a fixed or firm belief. So, how often do we as a society convict someone for just being a rotten individual. We don't. They are convicted for a specific thing. From a Beth Moore study, I learned this very truth. The over all crummy feeling we get is not from God, God is very specific about something. And His goal is not for us to crawl into the shadows and feel horrible, it is to come into the light to be renewed.

For years I have struggled with shame, from my bad choices, from things I have said, from doing the "wrong" things as a parent. I also wonder how many times I have knowingly or unknowingly shamed another in my ungraceful words or actions.

I have been convicted about one thing over the past several years and that is about how to truly live a grace filled life. In this I have been set free from the ugly shame and guilt and have learned that I am being refined day after day. I don't subscribe to the philosophy that God won't use me until he is done working on me. That is preposterous to me! If so, I would not be used until I was dead, right?!?! So I hope that in this post you will find some freedom. Some relief, knowing that freedom is much better than shame. "For there is NO condemnation in Christ" Romans 8:1

So now when someone asks you for a big helping of shame you can kindly say, no thank you!

Oh and I accepted a challenge to blog everyday in Nov. As you can see I have already failed. . I have chosen no shame or guilt with the fact I have already failed at day three. HA! :)

A glimpse at what was our Halloween fun. . . .

Election Day

Happy Election Day!

I am sure you are as happy as I am to soon be done with phone calls, mailings, etc.
During elections I always think of 2 teachers I had in HS. One thought all Americans should practice their right to vote no matter what, the other thought that you should only vote if you had educated yourself on the candidates and issues on the ballot. I have to say I tend to agree with the latter. If we are not educated about what is on the ballot in my opinion we should not vote.

I tend to get anxious about elections. All the news media and people seem to proclaim the end of the world if so and so is not elected or if one house or the other holds the power, and on and on. There is so much fear in elections I have decided this year not to be anxious. I could. I could be scared about a large tax increase, I could be scared about my health care, I could be scared that someone will tell me what to believe. Yet, these things do not change one fact I am certain of, and that is God is still on his throne. He has never, not for minute left it, and nor does He intend to. No matter what happens in an elections this I know to be true, and that gives me peace.

Funny thing in explaining the voting process to Lauren and that it was a secret ballot she said, "Well, Mommy, I bet they vote for you." She is too sweet to me.

Another Challenge

So. . tonight I received a message from my good friend and neighbor Charlotte. She told me about a blogging challenge out there to write something each day in November and not miss a day. If you follow my posts at all. . this is a challenge seeing as how I have not shared with you all since August! UGH!!

So. . I am taking the challenge. This is my first post to tell you about the challenge. But I also wanted to take a moment to share some fun news that just happened tonight.

My daughter can now officially ride a 2 wheel bicycle. YAY!!! The video we have is really dark so I will try to get another one and post it on one of the days this month!! It is so cool to see.

Wish me luck. . .I am going to need it!