Friday, February 17, 2012

Behind the Lobster Tank

There is a song by Jason Gray that I love and have listened to over and over call "How I Ended up Here." Here are the lyrics and the link to the song.
There's something I need to confess
At the risk of exposing my faults
But I'm starting to find that most of the time
I just don't like people at all

When I saw you five minutes ago
I was afraid you might talk off my ear
I panicked inside and decided to hide
And that's how I ended up here
Crouching behind the live lobster tank
Hoping you'd just pass me by, oh...

That's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here

Oh how I wish I could say
It's my first time to hide in this spot
But with all of the people I try to avoid
I find myself down here a lot

I mean, just look at these guys in the tank
With the red rubber bands 'round their arms
If they don't open up
And just keep to themselves
They won't do anyone harm

So I screen my calls,
don't answer the door
Sometimes wish I could disappear,

oh...That's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up ..

Building a wall so no one could bother me
Living my life in isolation
Opening up to only those close to me
Nobody's close to me, what have I done?

See, I really want to be known
But I'm not quite as strong as the fear
That you won't understand the fool that I am
And that's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here

My favorite lyrics in this song is "See, I really want to be known, But I'm not quite as strong as the fear,That you won't understand the fool that I am".   I know that many of you think that I can relate more to being the person that talks off your ear, and that is true, sad, but true.  But I think we all identify with wanting to be known.  

You know that feeling.  The desperate aching of wanting to share, wanting someone to notice, or even just sit with us.  Wanting someone to share our stories, our sadness, or even just a drink.

I have  friend that considers themselves to be a "loner".  They have friends and a family, but they pride themselves on being the one who doesn't need anyone. Everyone is kept at an arms distance. Somehow they think it makes them stronger than the average person.  Like a superhero with a "I" for independent on the back of their cape.  But, let me tell you friends, I call BS on that friend.  

I believe that God made us to be known.  Why else would he have given us communication skills, or provided mates, BFF's, families, or even created us at all?  Now I am not saying that we have no boundaries and share everything with everyone who comes in contact.  But I have learned sometimes we need to come out from behind the lobster tank in all of our foolishness, whether it be to a friend, a loved one, or our God.  The surprising part is that the outcome many times is not what we expected.  

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