I have been thinking about this post for many months. I have had a hard time composing it without sounding offensive as I have had a lot of mixed emotions on our upcoming transition. But I am going to lay my thoughts out there the best I can.
We have all see the articles on moms working in the home versus outside the home and all the jargon to go with it. We have seen the overt statements and the funny jokes, etc. I have often wondered why we as women continually bash each other ( yes we do). From who has better shoes in their closet, to who looks better in a dress, to who disciplines their children the "right" or "wrong" way. We do this to random women on the street and yes to even our greatest friends. We women are the worst to each other when in fact we should really become allies. I have never felt this so strongly as when our family made the decision for me to return to work this coming July.
I mainly wanted to write this blog to make two bold statements about having a foot in both worlds.
1. WORKING OUTSIDE THE HOME MOMS LOVE AND CARE ABOUT THEIR KIDS JUST AS MUCH AS WORKING IN THE HOME MOMS!
You probably wonder why I think I have some authority to even write this blog, well, because I have stayed home for over 7 years and am going back to work. I have had the ability to meet and talk with many stay at home moms and actually a majority of my friends are work outside the home moms. Yet, I think the only reason I can make that statement so loud and clear that my decision to go back to work was not at all out of any lack of love or compassion for my kids. I have a passion for social work and a passion for my kids. We never ask dads when they go to work if they love their kids, we assume they do! So why do we do that to woman?
Also, I personally do not believe that God has stated that all women should stay home with their kids. I am not really up for a biblical debate, but just read Proverbs 31 and let me know what you think. I doubt she took her kids all those places when working, but just my view.
2. MOMS WHO CHOOSE TO STAY AT HOME IN NO WAY RESEMBLE ANY TV SHOW THAT YOU SEE!
Staying at home is no Real Housewives event. If it was, I would have 3 nannies and go to the spa at least once a week and let's face it this body would look much better because I would also have a personal trainer and a chef. Staying at home is long days with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. You see the good, the bad, and ugly, and if possible the even uglier. You can go for days with no shower and hardly any adult conversation. But one of the blessing is you see almost everything, every moment, first, last, and you don't have to use a sick day if someone else is sick.
My dear women friends, who are we kidding? If we are truthful we all have made snarky remarks about other women in this area and they usually are directed towards the camp in which we do not fall. How about this, lets say we are all on the same team. The grass isn't any greener, it is just two different types of grass. We all are moms who love and hope and pray for the best for our kids. I am convinced that sometimes the reason men have become so very successful in certain areas is frankly they could give two sh$ts about this kind of stuff, I think we should probably feel the same.
I am preparing for July 2012 to about December 2012 to look like a train wreck when I return to work. I am more excited than I can tell you, but I also know this will be one of the largest transitions for our family. I will cry and there will be yelling, whining, and probably even gnashing of teeth. But it doesn't make it the wrong decision. It just is a transition. I guess in all of this I have just often wondered what would it look like if we just honored other mom's and family's choices?
In my opinion. . . a whole lot better.