I have thought a lot about women the past few days. And I am beginning to see sometimes why men say "women, ugh!" Now I will speak only for myself as I do not want to just say that all women are alike and I am sure what I am about it say is complete fiction in your world. But I need some work. Here are my thoughts.
I can be and have been on occasion a very mean and nasty woman. Yes I will admit to the fact that I have many times compared myself to other women and I have gone to other friends to gossip about other women. And I have decided I am mean and nasty. Not that any other woman reading this has done this, only me, I am sure.
We should be so nice to each other. We should compliment each other and look out for each other, but instead we say mean things or have nasty attitudes about others. For example, I see a beautiful, thin, fit woman with five kids and instead of saying how nice she looks, in my mind I wonder what is wrong with her. I secretly hope that she had a lot of work done. Or worse, I call my closest girlfriend to make assumptions about so-called-woman's attitude and how she must think she is "all that" and look for great validation from my friend about it. Seriously. . I have issues!!
I then thought about the Mary and Martha story from the bible. You know the one where Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus and spend time with Him and Martha ran around the house like a chicken with her head cut off cooking and cleaning for Jesus. Now the bible does not put it exactly that way, but I can only imagine. I also had these thoughts: I wonder if Mary and Martha then went to their best girlfriends or others and said "Can you believe what she did!?!?!" I can just hear the phrases in my mind, you know the ones: "she thought she was so much better than me!" or "I cannot believe she did that!" You may tell me that they did nothing of the sort but I don't believe you. :)
Or think about the movement that gave women the right to vote. All of these amazing women coming together to march and hold rallies for a single cause. However, I can also see the infighting about who got to type the memo, who led the rally or what so and so was wearing. Or theses statements: can you believe how that woman talked to my husband or she has really put on some weight since we did those sashes, it barely fits her. The comments probably went on and on.
WHY DO WE oh I mean, I REACT THIS WAY!?! I have come to a conclusion and it ain't pretty. Because I am jealous and/or I want to feel better about me and what I am doing as a woman, mom, and wife. Plain and simple, no way around it, that is the basis for all the negative things I have or might say about other women. And I am sad as I type this, because all the women I know are amazing. Even the ones I disagree with, because without them I would not use my brain to think about the facts behind why I disagree with them. To all you very skinny women, yes even those of you that are my best friends, I have loathed that you wear a size 2. Not you just the size you wear. But I should be saying how awesome you look and admire the time and commitment you have to stay at a size 2 after kids. And to all of you perfect moms who have never let your kids watch tv and all your kids can write their name by age 3, I have talked about you being crazy. When in reality I should ask you how you do it so maybe I can attempt to accomplish the discipline and creative ideas that you have come up with for you kids.
To all of you. I am sorry.
So I have put it out there. I might have zero women friends after this blog since I am sure I am the only one who does this sort of thing. But I have made a conscious effort the past few days to only let the things that come out of my mouth be uplifting. To put away those negative thoughts and turn them to positive ones. I do this because it is right and we are all on the same team. And in my beliefs we were all made by the same wonderful God who loves more than we can fathom.
So. . we will see if I still have friends after this. . . :)
2 comments:
I totally commend you for putting this out there. I think we are ALL guilty of this kind of thought or talk on some level. It's so easy to "put others down" when we realize that something about them/what they do/how they look, etc makes us feel insecure or not quite up to par. If anyone said they NEVER did this, I'd have to challenge that...I think sometimes we try to cover it up under the disguise of us being "worried" about so and so and that makes it ok to "gossip". I too am guilty of this and I hate that its sooo easy to jump to a negative thought or statement. I think I'll join you on your missing to think and say positive, uplifting things! I know it will certainly be a challenge at first!
Way to put it out there Krista and be honest with not only yourself, but your friends too!
Amen! Sister!! I have found myself at various times being far less than nice in regards to my sisters on this planet. It all stems from my own insecurities, but I do find it is brought on more by people I am with. If I find myself around women who are more apt to this type of behavior I fall right in line even if I'm uncomfortable. On the other hand, if I surround myself with those who are more positive and have more of a Christ-like attitude than myself, I find myself trying to emulate them.
I should have a Phlippians 4:8 tatoo on my face and covering my mouth!
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