One Hot Mess

And no I don't mean hot as in attractive just sweaty and actually hot. :)

So, I have been doing this half marathon training. I was out the other day just feeling like a mess.  I have had this really crappy set back with my right knee.  It doesn't want to cooperate when jogging past about 2.5 to 3 miles.  In fact I have tried to run past that and I just look horrible, I can't bear any weight on it.  I have been to the doctor and without an MRI, there is no "real" diagnosis.  I thought it was getting better last week as I was on the treadmill and hardly had any pain.  But alas that only lasted a few days and then again on my long run by mile 3, I look like a mess and my knee hates me. So I am then forced to do a speed walk for the rest of the assigned miles.  I often think that I am that "aww" person you pass on the road.  You know them, the ones who you pass in your car that frankly look as though they are exhausted, that they are on their second marathon of the day, slower than a desert tortoise and you want to cheer for them in hopes that they might do better- one hot mess-that is me.

So, anyway this knee thing is beyond disappointing.  It hurts, physically, emotionally and mentally.  I actually feel like a loser. But I am learning that more in this experience about "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry".  So I am adjusting my thoughts.  One of my adjustments has been to decide to plan my next half even though I have not finished this one (only 11 days from now). It will be the PF Changs in Phoenix/Tempe in January 2012.  That way I have the whole hot summer to get my knee fixed with my doctor because who really wants to train in 110+ degrees!

Now for my deep thought.  This whole training, set back, race thing is really like life.  We can plan and plan and plan, but it doesn't always go our way.  Sometimes we have to make adjustments no matter how much it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually pains us, it just has to happen. And sometimes we still have to do those things even though we don't want to, even though we want to fight it with all our might and try and tell ourselves that we can just keep on doing what we are doing and run through the pain.  In the end, if we keep running with the pain because we want to, the knee will be worse and maybe never have a chance to heal or run again.

So, in 11 days I will take this hot mess to Indiana and at least I know I will finish! :)