And no I don't mean hot as in attractive just sweaty and actually hot. :)
So, I have been doing this half marathon training. I was out the other day just feeling like a mess. I have had this really crappy set back with my right knee. It doesn't want to cooperate when jogging past about 2.5 to 3 miles. In fact I have tried to run past that and I just look horrible, I can't bear any weight on it. I have been to the doctor and without an MRI, there is no "real" diagnosis. I thought it was getting better last week as I was on the treadmill and hardly had any pain. But alas that only lasted a few days and then again on my long run by mile 3, I look like a mess and my knee hates me. So I am then forced to do a speed walk for the rest of the assigned miles. I often think that I am that "aww" person you pass on the road. You know them, the ones who you pass in your car that frankly look as though they are exhausted, that they are on their second marathon of the day, slower than a desert tortoise and you want to cheer for them in hopes that they might do better- one hot mess-that is me.
So, anyway this knee thing is beyond disappointing. It hurts, physically, emotionally and mentally. I actually feel like a loser. But I am learning that more in this experience about "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry". So I am adjusting my thoughts. One of my adjustments has been to decide to plan my next half even though I have not finished this one (only 11 days from now). It will be the PF Changs in Phoenix/Tempe in January 2012. That way I have the whole hot summer to get my knee fixed with my doctor because who really wants to train in 110+ degrees!
Now for my deep thought. This whole training, set back, race thing is really like life. We can plan and plan and plan, but it doesn't always go our way. Sometimes we have to make adjustments no matter how much it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually pains us, it just has to happen. And sometimes we still have to do those things even though we don't want to, even though we want to fight it with all our might and try and tell ourselves that we can just keep on doing what we are doing and run through the pain. In the end, if we keep running with the pain because we want to, the knee will be worse and maybe never have a chance to heal or run again.
So, in 11 days I will take this hot mess to Indiana and at least I know I will finish! :)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Move Over for Food
This is what I overheard L saying to her brother this morning:
"You know if you love Jesus, He lives inside of you. When you eat and the food goes down your body, Jesus just moves over. "
:) Love this!
"You know if you love Jesus, He lives inside of you. When you eat and the food goes down your body, Jesus just moves over. "
:) Love this!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Birthday Renewal
So, I am going to be pretty candid that the past 6 months have been rough ones for me. In the past I have laughed and yes, even mocked others who were so concerned about getting older. I laughed at the "real housewives" who seemed obsessed about botox and lifts and other things. I never understood why age was so painful to some. Until about 6 months ago. If you are one of the 4 people that read my blog, then you will know I had a post baby crisis. I do believe that is when I also realized I was getting old, well older.
I have no longer laughed at the thought of plastic surgery and yes I have a top 5 things I would like to have cosmetically changed. Gravity and three kids has taken a toll. Just being honest. But I think the hardest part was mentally and emotionally realizing that even though I felt somewhere between 21-25, I was really 10+ years older than that. YIKES! That means to the college kids I know, I am old. And it just hit me a couple months before my 34th birthday.
I started to wonder what happened. Where were the 10+ years between how I mentally feel and where I actually am?. What happened to my body, my life, me. Was I losing myself in everything. Should I have stayed working and become more involved in policy and evaluation, should we have taken more vacations before kids, should I have done something super "important" that gained national recognition, have I made the right choices for my family, etc. Those questions you ask yourself late at night when no one is listening but God.
Basically you can say that God and I have been wrestling, talking, yelling, ignoring. Let's face it, I have really done all those things, He has just been there to take it all. I have been upset, I mean really upset and tired. I first complained about things I disliked in my own life, then I yelled about the hurts of people. I yelled about the fact I have friends who are facing things in their lives that I would not wish on my worst enemy and they were "good" people. That they never deserved these situations and grief. I have been upset that I have felt stuck, not really "doing" something that I think has a real impact, I have faced shame, and I have been on empty. I felt like in the past 6 months I was just crabby, tired, spent and no one was meeting my needs, not even my God.
So recently I just said I will wait. I told God I would do what I had to do as a wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc. But I was just going to have to wait on him for some kind of renewal or confirmation or (as silly as this sounds) a sign, that I was going to make it, that it was good and He still had control no matter what happened and that I would once again not feel so empty.
He ended my waiting game on my 34th birthday in a shocking and surprising way. I say that because Jeff and the kids were out of town in Phx for my birthday and I was scheduled to work all day at church. I would be doing the nursery job for the morning and then setting up and helping to host the baby dedication for 18 families with their 200+ guests that afternoon/evening. So when I got up in the morning, I was not feeling that this would be a day of renewal. In fact, I believed I was actually sacrificing and unselfishly giving up sleep, maybe a pedicure and a nice dinner, in order to work for others (yes I am prideful. . still working on that).
But I was wrong. For the first time in months I was filled to the brim with joy. I laughed and cried. God had come through for me in a big way and it was through every stranger, friend, and family that I came in contact with yesterday, even my own. And the fun part is that most of them had no clue that they were filling me. I don't even know how to explain it other than sometimes when we think we are serving others we benefit much more than those we are serving.
The dedication was awesome! I was so excited for our families and that they allowed us to share and be a part of something very special in their lives. As I was standing in the back of the celebration at the end watching the families and their guests pray for their little ones and the parents, it was as though God whispered, "Now this, Krista, is what it is all about. This is what makes a difference. This is just a glimpse of what I have in store for you". I know that some of you who read this might not believe in God or feel this is silly. And that is okay. My God is big, He can handle it. But I believe that there is no coincidence to the timing. All the feelings of inadequacy, being tired, wondering the what ifs in life, being upset, empty,w as all replaced in and by something I thought I was doing for someone else, but in reality I received a renewal, and with perfect timing on my 34th birthday!
Oh and then I even got to go home and celebrate with my sweet husband and three kiddos with my favorite pizza and yes, even a gift!
I have no longer laughed at the thought of plastic surgery and yes I have a top 5 things I would like to have cosmetically changed. Gravity and three kids has taken a toll. Just being honest. But I think the hardest part was mentally and emotionally realizing that even though I felt somewhere between 21-25, I was really 10+ years older than that. YIKES! That means to the college kids I know, I am old. And it just hit me a couple months before my 34th birthday.
I started to wonder what happened. Where were the 10+ years between how I mentally feel and where I actually am?. What happened to my body, my life, me. Was I losing myself in everything. Should I have stayed working and become more involved in policy and evaluation, should we have taken more vacations before kids, should I have done something super "important" that gained national recognition, have I made the right choices for my family, etc. Those questions you ask yourself late at night when no one is listening but God.
Basically you can say that God and I have been wrestling, talking, yelling, ignoring. Let's face it, I have really done all those things, He has just been there to take it all. I have been upset, I mean really upset and tired. I first complained about things I disliked in my own life, then I yelled about the hurts of people. I yelled about the fact I have friends who are facing things in their lives that I would not wish on my worst enemy and they were "good" people. That they never deserved these situations and grief. I have been upset that I have felt stuck, not really "doing" something that I think has a real impact, I have faced shame, and I have been on empty. I felt like in the past 6 months I was just crabby, tired, spent and no one was meeting my needs, not even my God.
So recently I just said I will wait. I told God I would do what I had to do as a wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc. But I was just going to have to wait on him for some kind of renewal or confirmation or (as silly as this sounds) a sign, that I was going to make it, that it was good and He still had control no matter what happened and that I would once again not feel so empty.
He ended my waiting game on my 34th birthday in a shocking and surprising way. I say that because Jeff and the kids were out of town in Phx for my birthday and I was scheduled to work all day at church. I would be doing the nursery job for the morning and then setting up and helping to host the baby dedication for 18 families with their 200+ guests that afternoon/evening. So when I got up in the morning, I was not feeling that this would be a day of renewal. In fact, I believed I was actually sacrificing and unselfishly giving up sleep, maybe a pedicure and a nice dinner, in order to work for others (yes I am prideful. . still working on that).
But I was wrong. For the first time in months I was filled to the brim with joy. I laughed and cried. God had come through for me in a big way and it was through every stranger, friend, and family that I came in contact with yesterday, even my own. And the fun part is that most of them had no clue that they were filling me. I don't even know how to explain it other than sometimes when we think we are serving others we benefit much more than those we are serving.
The dedication was awesome! I was so excited for our families and that they allowed us to share and be a part of something very special in their lives. As I was standing in the back of the celebration at the end watching the families and their guests pray for their little ones and the parents, it was as though God whispered, "Now this, Krista, is what it is all about. This is what makes a difference. This is just a glimpse of what I have in store for you". I know that some of you who read this might not believe in God or feel this is silly. And that is okay. My God is big, He can handle it. But I believe that there is no coincidence to the timing. All the feelings of inadequacy, being tired, wondering the what ifs in life, being upset, empty,w as all replaced in and by something I thought I was doing for someone else, but in reality I received a renewal, and with perfect timing on my 34th birthday!
Oh and then I even got to go home and celebrate with my sweet husband and three kiddos with my favorite pizza and yes, even a gift!
Monday, March 7, 2011
10K: No 911 Call Necessary
Well, I can say I have completed my first 10K, and can say that I do not think it will be my last. (As I type that last sentence I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.) In my teens the furthest I would ever run is between the bases in softball and the running our coach made us do for conditioning. In college, I lived with a wonderful woman that ran miles upon miles each week and to be honest I thought she was crazy. After college, I might walk, but to really run I would have told you there must be someone chasing me with a gun.
Well, now I run. . . correction what I do is 'wog' (cross between jog and walk) but for me that is huge. I actually loved it and no one needed to call 911 for me and no ambulance was needed to haul me away.
I ran the Run for Ryan House in DC Ranch, which I discovered is North Scottsdale area. First, let me tell you that you should look into the Ryan House because it has an amazing story and is awesome. Then let me tell you a bit about the DC Ranch area. . .it has HILLS! :) Oh yes, compared to my flat run in Tucson, the hills were a challenge, but good for me.
Jeff was out of town for work so I was truly bummed that he and the kids were not there when I finished, but what I did have was an amazing friend there to give me a high five and be my champion. Terese and I have known each other for a long time. She volunteers at the Ryan house and did a little butt kicking of her own in the 5K race that day. We were able to meet before the races and then we had a great brunch afterwards. It was an amazing day and here are some pictures that she took, of which I am so thankful.
Well, now I run. . . correction what I do is 'wog' (cross between jog and walk) but for me that is huge. I actually loved it and no one needed to call 911 for me and no ambulance was needed to haul me away.
I ran the Run for Ryan House in DC Ranch, which I discovered is North Scottsdale area. First, let me tell you that you should look into the Ryan House because it has an amazing story and is awesome. Then let me tell you a bit about the DC Ranch area. . .it has HILLS! :) Oh yes, compared to my flat run in Tucson, the hills were a challenge, but good for me.
Jeff was out of town for work so I was truly bummed that he and the kids were not there when I finished, but what I did have was an amazing friend there to give me a high five and be my champion. Terese and I have known each other for a long time. She volunteers at the Ryan house and did a little butt kicking of her own in the 5K race that day. We were able to meet before the races and then we had a great brunch afterwards. It was an amazing day and here are some pictures that she took, of which I am so thankful.
Taken before we started. Early in the morning.
As I crossed the finish line from 6.2 miles. And yes my face is as pink as my shirt, I can't control that. :)
The interesting part about this new hobby of mine is when I woke up on Sunday morning I thought I would like to run the course again because I knew I had more in me and could do it even faster. I guess I have plenty of time to work on that in the next 60 days until the 13.1.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Created By A Male
Yes this post will probably be a dig at you men, but honestly LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really?!?!? So, this is the picture in a pamphlet explaining vasectomies that came from a local urologists office.
I really have so many things I could say about this photo, but I will only ask this one question. If you have had a c-section or delivered children "naturally", do you ever remember getting a pamphlet that had you holding your new sweet baby in a lazy boy with your husband at your side bringing you snacks? HMMMMMM something to ponder.
I really have so many things I could say about this photo, but I will only ask this one question. If you have had a c-section or delivered children "naturally", do you ever remember getting a pamphlet that had you holding your new sweet baby in a lazy boy with your husband at your side bringing you snacks? HMMMMMM something to ponder.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
"It is what it is"
I love this quote. But I know people that loathe it. They think it means to settle, to give up, to not try and challenge myself or others, that it means failure and laziness. But I love this quote because I take it as dealing with things that are beyond our control.
I like this because sometimes I put a lot of pressure on myself. I expect perfection, I expect to say the "right" thing, do the "right" thing, have the "right" family, have the "right" attitude, have the "right" marriage, and I could go on and on. But I am not perfect, thank God for a Redeemer.
As I get older I have discovered there are definitely seasons in life. I wish someone would have explained this to me when I was 14 and maybe I would have handled my awkward teenage season better. Then again maybe my mom did tell me, but my I-know-better-than-you teenage brain was acting up. :)
In the past week we have had the dreaded flu/cold/stomach/eye bug attack our home. I have been tired and lazy. I have not done my floors, I have yelled at the kids, I have had to tell a very good friend that I could not help her in her time of need because of sick people at my house. And for a while I was feeling bad and guilty. But I remembered one of my sayings: It is what it is.
I believe this is true for me this week. I cannot control sickness, it comes (although I do wish I had a magic wand to control throw up. :)) I have had to just let go and decided that where I am right now is not permanent. My floors will get clean and I will at another time, be able to help out my friend. But right now it just is what it is.
Maybe you have felt the same way about your season. There are things you don't like that are happening beyond your control. To that I give you full permission to just let out a big sigh and say "It is what it is." And many blessings to you as you work through it and the season you are in!
I like this because sometimes I put a lot of pressure on myself. I expect perfection, I expect to say the "right" thing, do the "right" thing, have the "right" family, have the "right" attitude, have the "right" marriage, and I could go on and on. But I am not perfect, thank God for a Redeemer.
As I get older I have discovered there are definitely seasons in life. I wish someone would have explained this to me when I was 14 and maybe I would have handled my awkward teenage season better. Then again maybe my mom did tell me, but my I-know-better-than-you teenage brain was acting up. :)
In the past week we have had the dreaded flu/cold/stomach/eye bug attack our home. I have been tired and lazy. I have not done my floors, I have yelled at the kids, I have had to tell a very good friend that I could not help her in her time of need because of sick people at my house. And for a while I was feeling bad and guilty. But I remembered one of my sayings: It is what it is.
I believe this is true for me this week. I cannot control sickness, it comes (although I do wish I had a magic wand to control throw up. :)) I have had to just let go and decided that where I am right now is not permanent. My floors will get clean and I will at another time, be able to help out my friend. But right now it just is what it is.
Maybe you have felt the same way about your season. There are things you don't like that are happening beyond your control. To that I give you full permission to just let out a big sigh and say "It is what it is." And many blessings to you as you work through it and the season you are in!
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