Love/Hate

Okay, so I went to the midwife yesterday and I love the midwives I see, but I have discovered after the formalities and structures and schedules of having 2 kids with an OB/GYN, I have a love/hate relationship. Let me explain.

I went for my 36 week appointment (I KNOW. .. .I can't believe it either!), and at this appointment we discuss the birth plan that Jeff and I wrote up, how things were going, did a quick Group B strep test (which I was able to do myself, which would have NEVER happened at my OBs office), listened to the wonderful heartbeat, was measured and weighed and done until 38 and a half weeks. WHAT!?!? you may ask if you have had an OB, but the midwives feel no need to "check" your progress at 36, 37, 38 , 39, etc weeks. For those of you who do not know what "check" means. . it means check to see if you have dilated or are effaced.

Therefore, I have a love/hate relationship with this method. The midwives will not "check" until after 40 weeks. I do love this because I truly feel that in my case (maybe not for everyone) where I am in dilation and effacement have nothing to do with how soon I will deliver. Let me explain. With my first baby I was checked beginning at 36 weeks every week until 41!!!!! Each week I made significant progress and felt like I could go into labor at any day, however at 41 weeks, almost 5 cm dilated and 90% effaced the girl had to be "smoked out" with a pit IV. She was never coming out.
Now onto my second. When I began being checked with him, I was making slower progress and was only minimally dilated at 36 weeks. Each week I was a bit more, but nothing significant and really I knew better, so I was holding out for another 41 weeker and bam, he mad his arrival at 38 1/2 weeks. So. . . .checking for me does absolutely nothing!! :) It just makes me even more crazy and neurotic than I already am, if that is even possible. This is why I LOVE not being "checked". What I don't know can't make me even more intolerable to live with or anxiety ridden about "any minute now".

Onto the HATE part, to which my oldest would tell me "we don't use that word in this house". Good thing she can't read yet. I hate not being checked, because that is what I have grown accustom to in previous pregnancies and I love being able to tell friends and family when they ask that I am _ cm and _ effaced. I don't know why, as I type it, it sounds even more strange. Oh well, there is something also being said for knowing I guess.

But for now I will stick with the LOVE part as my husband I am sure is at his wits end and does not need an even crazier, neurotic wife on his hands for possibly 4 1/2 more weeks. :)