Monday, March 1, 2010
Disneyland Vacation and Lauren's 5th Birthday
We just got back from Disneyland to celebrate Lauren's upcoming 5th birthday.
Jeff and I decided a while back that we would go to Disneyland for each child's 5th birthday and since Lauren will be 5 very soon. . it was time!
We had a wonderful time full of fun, family, extended family and laughter!
Above this post are many, many pictures to prove it!!! :)
Jeff and I decided a while back that we would go to Disneyland for each child's 5th birthday and since Lauren will be 5 very soon. . it was time!
We had a wonderful time full of fun, family, extended family and laughter!
Above this post are many, many pictures to prove it!!! :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Where I Am
I have to say I love my kids. There are definitely times I yell, want to rip my hair out, send them to their rooms because we ALL need a time out. But in the end. . . when I am away from them I miss them terribly, when we are all playing, I want to bathe in those moments. I am slowly but surely preparing myself for Lauren to turn 5!!! I cannot believe she will be five, and begin kinder come July. Yes school starts for us in mid July because we are on a year round modified calendar. And YES, it is going to take me 5 months to prepare myself.
I asked her the other day if she wanted me to teach her from home and then she could stay with me all day. And she emphatically replied "NO! I have to go to kindergarten!" Upon asking her why, she replied "Because they read books there, mom!" I said we could read books here and she did not go for that either. She thinks she is ready, but we will see when the first day of school comes along. . . I think she is more talk right now, but she might surprise me.
Sean is either making me fall on the floor in laughter or in pain depending on his listening skills that day. He is definitely the boy who will carve his own path and will not just follow the rules because someone said that is what he will do. He likes to ask "WHY?" often and recently my favorite things to hear him say are "Mom, I was thinking. . . " and "Mom, we need to talk." Both are said often when he wants to show me something or when he is done with a time out. He keeps me on my toes and is the greatest snuggler in the world. My favorite moments are those we just talk and I rub his forehead right before he falls asleep.
Colin, my baby, he is already 7 months old and I am wanting to slow his growth down, because I find myself wanting him to stay a baby. It is amazing that God has given me the capability to be up all night, spit on, drooled on, pooped on, etc. and I still want to keep him little. In the moments of frustration I want to get over the baby stage, but when I really step back I want to hold on to each moment, because I can never get it back. In fact last night we were up at about 130 a.m. and he fell back asleep on my shoulder. Normally I would lay him back down in a daze and shuffle back to bed to try and sleep more until another cry would awake me. But this time was different I felt compelled to continue to rock and hum and love on him for a bit longer. I felt I had to freeze that moment together.
This is a snapshot of where I am. There are moments I would give anything for Calgon to truly take me away or a nurse with a van and a straight jacket for that matter. But then there are the moments when I sit back, in somewhat quiet and thank God for the 3 little blessings I have and where I am right at this moment.
I asked her the other day if she wanted me to teach her from home and then she could stay with me all day. And she emphatically replied "NO! I have to go to kindergarten!" Upon asking her why, she replied "Because they read books there, mom!" I said we could read books here and she did not go for that either. She thinks she is ready, but we will see when the first day of school comes along. . . I think she is more talk right now, but she might surprise me.
Sean is either making me fall on the floor in laughter or in pain depending on his listening skills that day. He is definitely the boy who will carve his own path and will not just follow the rules because someone said that is what he will do. He likes to ask "WHY?" often and recently my favorite things to hear him say are "Mom, I was thinking. . . " and "Mom, we need to talk." Both are said often when he wants to show me something or when he is done with a time out. He keeps me on my toes and is the greatest snuggler in the world. My favorite moments are those we just talk and I rub his forehead right before he falls asleep.
Colin, my baby, he is already 7 months old and I am wanting to slow his growth down, because I find myself wanting him to stay a baby. It is amazing that God has given me the capability to be up all night, spit on, drooled on, pooped on, etc. and I still want to keep him little. In the moments of frustration I want to get over the baby stage, but when I really step back I want to hold on to each moment, because I can never get it back. In fact last night we were up at about 130 a.m. and he fell back asleep on my shoulder. Normally I would lay him back down in a daze and shuffle back to bed to try and sleep more until another cry would awake me. But this time was different I felt compelled to continue to rock and hum and love on him for a bit longer. I felt I had to freeze that moment together.
This is a snapshot of where I am. There are moments I would give anything for Calgon to truly take me away or a nurse with a van and a straight jacket for that matter. But then there are the moments when I sit back, in somewhat quiet and thank God for the 3 little blessings I have and where I am right at this moment.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Where is the Pause Button?
Today I am needing a pause. You may know what I am talking about. My house is a mess, I have laundry, dishes, sick kids, crying kids, meals to do, sleep needed, and a to do list a mile long. And yet I need a pause button on everything. I want to be able to have a longer time to just be, breathe and relax.
I am reminded of my labor with Colin during this time. I had the opportunity to have a natural childbirth with Colin. And I don' really remember the pain as much I remember the hour before he was born. The very hardest part of the labor was just wanting a longer pause between the pain. I recall thinking that I would never make it out of the pain. I wanted to be able to breath for longer in between the contractions. Between contractions I yearned to sleep for hours, to rest. I didn't' even want to shift positions at all only because it took too much energy away and I needed it for the next contraction. I felt like that time lasted much longer than it did. But what happened after all that was over was a miracle. A blessing. A new baby. And some time to breath, to pause and reflect.
I am reminded that right now I might feel like I need a pause. But it is only a short time. I am still breathing, I just feel like it's not enough air. But it is, God has given me the air I need. I am making progress even though I might not see or feel it. Things are happening and soon I will have my time to breathe, reflect and I am sure blessings abundant.
I am reminded of my labor with Colin during this time. I had the opportunity to have a natural childbirth with Colin. And I don' really remember the pain as much I remember the hour before he was born. The very hardest part of the labor was just wanting a longer pause between the pain. I recall thinking that I would never make it out of the pain. I wanted to be able to breath for longer in between the contractions. Between contractions I yearned to sleep for hours, to rest. I didn't' even want to shift positions at all only because it took too much energy away and I needed it for the next contraction. I felt like that time lasted much longer than it did. But what happened after all that was over was a miracle. A blessing. A new baby. And some time to breath, to pause and reflect.
I am reminded that right now I might feel like I need a pause. But it is only a short time. I am still breathing, I just feel like it's not enough air. But it is, God has given me the air I need. I am making progress even though I might not see or feel it. Things are happening and soon I will have my time to breathe, reflect and I am sure blessings abundant.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Heart Break
So I just finished putting my kiddos to bed. Today I was frustrated, angry, sad, and having my own pity party.
I have just turned on the TV to unwind and am now crying and needed some outlet to give words to my heart.
I of course could not escape the Hope For Haiti Now programming. (Which as a side note I am always amazed that people do rise to an occasion to help others.) I have mentioned to Jeff this week the ache of my heart and that we should think about adopting a precious baby to love from Haiti, and of course I would turn it on when they are talking about all of the orphans. Embarrassing as it may be I have tried to limit my Haiti watching on TV for it just brings tears in my eyes every time. But through all this I have been given some clear messages. That I hope to articulate.
This life is full of suffering. There are babies all over suffering, there are adults suffering. In Haiti, in Africa and right here in the good 'ol USA. In fact we could also adopt from a child in pain here as well. It is painful. My heart not only breaks for this, but I am humbled.
I am humbled because I complained to the Lord all day about my kids. They didn't listen, they didn't rest so I could rest, that I have been up since the wee hours of the morning. You name it, I probably grumbled about it. And how foolish of me. At least I have my kids. At least they know where their mom is and that she adores them. At least they can hear me, even if they don't do what I said. At least we have beds to rest in. I have lost sight of it all.
I have heart break. For those that suffer, those that are lost. Sometimes I feel I can lose sight in that fear and heart break. But I must I have to cling to my HOPE. My hope is in the Lord. There is suffering, but there is Hope in Him. He WILL NOT leave me nor forsake me. He will give rest. There is so much more to come, He has promised this.
I have just turned on the TV to unwind and am now crying and needed some outlet to give words to my heart.
I of course could not escape the Hope For Haiti Now programming. (Which as a side note I am always amazed that people do rise to an occasion to help others.) I have mentioned to Jeff this week the ache of my heart and that we should think about adopting a precious baby to love from Haiti, and of course I would turn it on when they are talking about all of the orphans. Embarrassing as it may be I have tried to limit my Haiti watching on TV for it just brings tears in my eyes every time. But through all this I have been given some clear messages. That I hope to articulate.
This life is full of suffering. There are babies all over suffering, there are adults suffering. In Haiti, in Africa and right here in the good 'ol USA. In fact we could also adopt from a child in pain here as well. It is painful. My heart not only breaks for this, but I am humbled.
I am humbled because I complained to the Lord all day about my kids. They didn't listen, they didn't rest so I could rest, that I have been up since the wee hours of the morning. You name it, I probably grumbled about it. And how foolish of me. At least I have my kids. At least they know where their mom is and that she adores them. At least they can hear me, even if they don't do what I said. At least we have beds to rest in. I have lost sight of it all.
I have heart break. For those that suffer, those that are lost. Sometimes I feel I can lose sight in that fear and heart break. But I must I have to cling to my HOPE. My hope is in the Lord. There is suffering, but there is Hope in Him. He WILL NOT leave me nor forsake me. He will give rest. There is so much more to come, He has promised this.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
New On My Must Read List
So. . I started a new book, that I am loving. I just wish all three kiddos would nap for 2 hours straight so I can happily neglect dishes and laundry to read it! I have decided to blog about it, because I like it and think you might too. Here it is:
I have only just begun to dive in, but enjoy it so far. I think we all are haunted by that "something" that keeps us from freedom and authentic living. . . .I will probably be blogging more about my "somethings" so be prepared. . . .
If you pick it up or have read it I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
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