Behind the Lobster Tank

There is a song by Jason Gray that I love and have listened to over and over call "How I Ended up Here." Here are the lyrics and the link to the song.

 

There's something I need to confess
At the risk of exposing my faults
But I'm starting to find that most of the time
I just don't like people at all

When I saw you five minutes ago
I was afraid you might talk off my ear
I panicked inside and decided to hide
And that's how I ended up here
Crouching behind the live lobster tank
Hoping you'd just pass me by, oh...

That's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here

Oh how I wish I could say
It's my first time to hide in this spot
But with all of the people I try to avoid
I find myself down here a lot

I mean, just look at these guys in the tank
With the red rubber bands 'round their arms
If they don't open up
And just keep to themselves
They won't do anyone harm

So I screen my calls,
don't answer the door
Sometimes wish I could disappear,

oh...That's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up ..

Building a wall so no one could bother me
Living my life in isolation
Opening up to only those close to me
Nobody's close to me, what have I done?

See, I really want to be known
But I'm not quite as strong as the fear
That you won't understand the fool that I am
And that's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here

My favorite lyrics in this song is "See, I really want to be known, But I'm not quite as strong as the fear,That you won't understand the fool that I am".   I know that many of you think that I can relate more to being the person that talks off your ear, and that is true, sad, but true.  But I think we all identify with wanting to be known.  

You know that feeling.  The desperate aching of wanting to share, wanting someone to notice, or even just sit with us.  Wanting someone to share our stories, our sadness, or even just a drink.

I have  friend that considers themselves to be a "loner".  They have friends and a family, but they pride themselves on being the one who doesn't need anyone. Everyone is kept at an arms distance. Somehow they think it makes them stronger than the average person.  Like a superhero with a "I" for independent on the back of their cape.  But, let me tell you friends, I call BS on that friend.  

I believe that God made us to be known.  Why else would he have given us communication skills, or provided mates, BFF's, families, or even created us at all?  Now I am not saying that we have no boundaries and share everything with everyone who comes in contact.  But I have learned sometimes we need to come out from behind the lobster tank in all of our foolishness, whether it be to a friend, a loved one, or our God.  The surprising part is that the outcome many times is not what we expected.  

Some Mindful Snapshots

This afternoon was a we-WILL-cry-over-spilled-juice-&-any-other-thing-that-looks-at-us-the-wrong-way.  So if you are blessed to live in Arizona that calls for some let's go outside and try to get through the afternoon work.  So we went out back and played, it was nice, so I grabbed the camera. Here you go. . . .

Wordless Wednesday: Stinker

Lock Up Your Daughters!

Forget locking up Lauren until she is 30, I have recently decided we should lock up our sweet boy S. 

This boy's love language oozes from his body: physical touch.   I do know I will have to warn his future wife of this as he communicates everything that way.  

In preschool he has a journal.  Each day when they first arrive they wash their hands and do some journal work.  It is different each day.  This particular day the prompt was to "Draw something beautiful."  As his sweet teacher was going around looking at journals I am sure she saw a plethora of rainbows and flowers and mountains.  Then she got to my sweet boy's picture and had to ask the very nice teacher question, "Tell me about your picture?"  Which is code for what the heck is that?!?!

Here is his reply:
It is my mom's nightgown.

Yes. . . he . . did.  He did just tell his teacher that something beautiful was his mother's nightgown.  Oye!  Really?  First, for the record I rarely wear a nightgown to bed.  I am more a pajama pants kind of girl.  But really, at 5 years old his idea of something beautiful is his mother's night gown.  He either has a really big Oedipus complex or will just make an amazing husband one day, I prefer the latter. 
Oh dear, when Dr. Leman says that the middle child beats to a different drum he wasn't kidding! :)
He contintues to make me laugh and I do believe he will make a very attentive husband one day. . when we let him out. HAHA!

For the Love. . . of Reading Week

I had the opportunity to read for the Love of Reading Week last week at L's school.  Each parent who read also told the kids a bit about what they "do". 

So the on the eve of my reading date, L asks me what I am reading and that I will have to tell the kids what I "do".  I said to her, well I stay at home L, what should I say I "do".  (very long pause)  She said, "Well you could tell them you make things.  Or. . . . ummmmm....Oh I know, tell them how you do LAUNDRY!!!"  To which she starts laughing. 

So I read my book and then took questions and sure enough one sweet boy said "What do you do?"  Then L said out loud in front of her classmates "Tell them about how you do laundry, laundry and laundry!" 

Needless to say her teacher found this funny and I laughed as well.  I knew that 2 years ago when she stood on her preschool stage and told everyone "When I grow up I want to be a mommy, because I love my mommy",  would have to be a memory I clung to for moments just likes these. 

So on this Saturday if you are doing laundry, know that I am right there with you!  :)

My sweet 'S'- yes again :)

I am beginning to think this blog could just be about the funny interactions with my sweet, eldest son.

If you have taken Love and Logic parenting courses, you know the words "I love you too much to argue." 
Well that has been my mantra this afternoon.  And I am a bit tired.

Then I see/hear this.
My sweet boy taking a large wooden pole (the kind used to hold up trees) and using it as a ramming rod against our glass french door.  Of course I immediately scream his name and he stops and I send him straight to his room.  He begins to argue and I repeat as calm as possible, "Go to your room,  I love you too much to argue."  And also explain that I am WAAAAY to angry to talk so I will need a few minutes to calm down.

After I take my few minutes we have a conversation about love, actions, why I don't want him to do things that can hurt him, etc. I wanted to share part of it.

Me:  Who loves you even more than mommy and daddy? 
S:  Hmmmmm.  (long pause)  I am trying to decide between God and Jesus!  ummmm, ummmm, GOD!!!
Me:  That is right, God loves you even more than. . . .
S interrupts:  Yeah I knew it was God because Jesus is just a baby and is tiny.  :) 

This made me laugh aloud and yes, I know we have a bit more training to do about Jesus getting past the infant stage, but in my defense it was just Christmas.  Just add it to my list of things I need to teach my kids.

Have a great rest of your week!